One of the most famous movie lines of all time "Mirror, mirror on the wall who is the fairest one of all..." is from the Disney animated classic, Snow White which was made in 1937. There's only 1 problem- That quote itself, is a misquote. The ACTUAL quote from the Wicked Queen is "MAGIC mirror on the wall..." (#PBSUN) Regardless, famous misquotes is not the topic of this weeks post. This weeks topic is far more philosophical, and puzzling at the same time. This week, I would like to delve into the realm of perception and reality; I will try to unpack exactly WHY we see ourselves in the mirror one way, but see ourselves differently in pictures. And good readers, no- I don't want to explore the scientific explanation - "Well you see Paul, the gama rays reflected by the mirror, are imperceptible with the camera, but abundant in a mirror, thereby artificially enhancing the viewers perception of whatever is being reflected in the mirror...." NO. I think most people would admit they look better in a mirror, than they do through the lens of a camera. And I want to explore why. Spoiler alert- I don't know why.
Back in the day, there were no mirrors, so in order to see what you looked like, someone would paint or draw you, or, you would see your reflection in something shiny like polished metal or water. The term narcissist, comes from Greek Mythology and the god Narcissus, who used to own a souvlaki shop in the Plaka in Athens. (He eventually sold it to Amazon in 47 BC). When he looked into a reflective pool, he saw his image and instantly fell in love with it. There are several different endings to this myth, all of them involving Narcissus dying- by beating his breast, killing himself with a sword, drowning, or going into a coma after binge watching 'The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills'. Regardless of the reason, ultimately it was because he couldn't have himself, the only object of his desire, so he had to die.
Although several incarnations of a camera have been around since ancient times, those cameras involved mirrored reflections and tracing the reflected picture. A camera that actually took a photo was not invented until the early 1800's and the first documented picture was one of Cher on her 20th birthday. Pictures also had a cumbersome process and lengthy time to develop. Even at the best of times, the quickest you would see a photo, would be by using the Polaroid cameras of the 1970's, where a square piece of film would eject from the camera and you would shake it to help the film develop ("Shake it like a Polaroid Picture"- lyrics from Hey Ya by Outkast) and about 20-30 seconds later you would have a picture. More often than not, however, you took pictures with a camera that hopefully had a roll of film in it, and when you got back from your event, you would take that roll of film to the photo shop, where they would develop your film, sometimes in 24 hours, but 3 or 4 days was more likely. Nowadays, everyone's phone doubles as a camera (among other things) and you can see instantaneously, whether or not you got a good shot, and take it again if you didn't. I feel the best picture takers right now are waiters and waitresses at restaurants. They are constantly doing double duty as servers and photographers, as one person at the table they are serving will inevitably proclaim "excuse me- It's my husbands', sisters', mailmans', dogs' birthday today. Can you take a picture of us so we can send it to him? He has 30 million followers on X under the handle Poop Doggie Dog" As I've described in this blog in the past, I'm a '1 take Jake'. Unless my thumb was in the way, or the lens was dirty, I take 1 picture and if it's not good enough, it's not good enough. To paraphrase the ubercool, Miles Davis, I may not be playing the right notes, but it's real.
So are my pictures- they're real. I've never been one for posing for pictures. If someone walked into my office right now and took pictures of me working on this blog, for an hour straight- I'd have no problem with that. But if the picture taker started saying "Sit up straight, turn over this way more- put your shoulders back- don't look at the camera- look at the camera- you're eyes were shut- you have something in your teeth- that ugly statue is in the picture get it out of there- pretend you're typing something- you're typing gibberish, you can see it in the monitor and people will read it, type real sentences..." I wouldn't have it. Just take the damn picture. In fact- why not just photo shop me in (or out) of your picture as you please- just make sure it's a good shot of me.
I'm quite certain this is a normal scenario for most people: You're going somewhere relevant, and you want to look good. So you groom yourself accordingly - in my case, haircut, shower, shave- put on the appropriate attire, take a last look in the mirror at the finished product, and hopefully you can proclaim- not bad. That's not always the case. There have been times where I have looked in the mirror and said "No- that can't be right". I believe everyone does their best to fight off the ravages of time, whether it's a receding* or greying hairline (or both!), an ever-expanding waistline, or even just having to put your glasses on to see your reflection in the mirror. You do whatever it takes to hold onto those last vestiges of youth. Whether it's hair colour, botox, laser-eye surgery, or Ozempic, you do what you feel is necessary to look and feel young. You like to think you're aging like George Clooney, but one photo and you realize you're aging like George Costanza. *(why isn't receding spelled "receeding"? It doesn't make sense. Proceeding has 2 ee's.)
Fast forward to your event and someone inevitably takes a picture. In this day and age of instant gratification, you get to see the picture immediately, and you look at yourself and say "Yuck- what the heck is that?" What's the next move? Most people (I'm looking at you, dear wife of mine) take their two fingers and pinch the photo outwards to enlarge themselves and look for their flaws. (I'm not sure what the exact terminology for this is- maybe we need to make up a name? Outpinch? Closeup?) Why the discrepancy? Why, when you see yourself in the mirror- not bad; at the other end of the lens- yuck? I don't know, but I do have a theory.
The mirror is like a film, but a picture is literally a moment snapped in time. I think most people look better in a film/video, than they do in a picture. If the picture captures a moment in time, and we don't look 'perfect' or even good during that split second, then we won't like the picture. But in a mirror- similar to a film, we are constantly moving- we are seeing ourselves in motion and not just one moment, so we have time to move on and forget about that split second moment and take in better 'shots' of ourselves. We move our heads up and down and side to side, checking out all possible angles before settling on the final take. Larry David posits a similar theory on the final season of his show "Curb Your Enthusiasm" when he states that our reflection in the mirror represents how we see ourselves, but the camera captures one moment that can reveal more that you intended.
Here's another mystery. Why do you think everyone else looks the same in pictures- except yourself ? You look at a picture of a group of people, and you say- "Yes, that's Jim, that's Jane, that's Rick, that's Jenny- but that doesn't look like me at all." Everyone else in that picture looks the same as you think they look- but you don't look how you think you look. And everyone is saying the same about themselves- "That looks like Paul, but that doesn't look like me". Very similar to the phenomenon of hearing your voice "I don't sound like that do I?" You think you have a deep powerful voice like James Earl Jones (RIP) but in reality you sound like Fran Dresher.
I recently saw a video on X of a bear walking in the woods, and it comes across a mirror. The bear jumps back 4 feet- startled, and then does a careful walk around, starts its' defense mechanisms and begins pawing at the mirror, sniffs it, and ultimately walks away. That mirror, for the bear, is like a picture for a human. A bear doesn't know what it looks like. It knows what another bear looks like, and also knows when there's another bear in its vicinity because it can hear it and smell it before it sees it. But a bear doesn't know what it looks like. That's why, despite what you read in Goldilocks and the 3 Bears, bears don't spend a lot of time grooming themselves, making porridge, and sleeping on hard beds. And they definitely don't drink Coke or use Charmin toilet paper. They don't know what they don't know, and if they don't know what they look like, they don't preoccupy themselves with how they look. Unfortunately, that thought process won't work with humans so the best we can do is make ourselves look as good as we can, that way, when we do see a picture of ourselves, we don't jump back 4 feet and shriek "what the hell is that?" like Lois Griffin.